JustSayHi.com
Topic: the melting(wax) box
jimz
167739_9557_thumb
Joined Sun 06/24/07
Posts: 1355
Wed 07/23/08 04:50 PM
take it in
woven like skin
(the stars woven to stars)
darkness an empty space)
woven in sworn in lies(alleys
steps from sea)
swimming
like
drowning

a piece
of
resolved
mirrors
(i have
to look
sometimes
like you
want me to)

i own
this timeless
place
of solitude

no to
bleeeding from
from the top
of the bottom
(turn over
the jars
of stars
and it all
ends)

faceless
maidens(all the
face petals
turning into
scented
windows
of bright
beauty

i now
bow
by i
now
bow
out of
digging
my
head(stones
drones
headless

take
my
fogged
box
con
scious

unseal
my
wax
 
LAMom
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Joined Tue 12/12/06
Posts: 24116
Wed 07/23/08 06:40 PM
flowerforyou heart flowerforyou
 
myanimalcracker
466605_8108_thumb
Joined Wed 02/27/08
Posts: 883
Wed 07/23/08 09:42 PM
Wonderful flowerforyou flowerforyou
 
d4tc
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Joined Tue 04/15/08
Posts: 1525
Wed 07/23/08 10:54 PM
Good stuff Jimz. drinker
 
pkd1220
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Joined Thu 05/24/07
Posts: 1819
Thu 07/24/08 12:15 PM
"take it in
woven like skin"
You had me at the beginning Jimmy. Great jobdrinker drinker
 
JU57U5
576217_6110_thumb
Joined Thu 07/24/08
Posts: 5
Thu 07/24/08 02:17 PM
Most of your lines are worded in a confusing way, but I like your rhythm and caesuras, they really create a rolling motion like the turning of your jars.
 
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